Camp Conversations

Infuriated by a time where mankind has decided to replace God and play with lives, past literary dandies and musical vestal virgins have had enough of just rolling over in their graves. These camp figures won’t save the cause – making a satire of it already keeps them all busy and is far more delightful for us – but their reunion is preserving at least l’amour du Beau within the hopefully soon to be extinct human race. “6 Porn Stars! 6 Porn Stars for the Lady and her Gents. Enjoy.”


Charles: It is the hour to be drunken! To escape being the martyred slaves of time, be ceaselessly drunk. On wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish.

Freddie: I want everyone to get fucked, all night, everyday, just like I do!

Ziggy: It’s very sexy [laugh].

Charles: A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.

The waiter worryingly looked towards the only woman present, elegantly leaning on the counter. To his gaze she replied:

Maria: No, I’m used to it. It’s fine.

Oscar: Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.

Freddie: Yeah, a lot of sex.

Maria: A lot has been written about me, a lot of unfair things, stories that are pure inventions. I’m a decent person, I believe that. But I also believe I’m a person who doesn’t take any nonsense.

Oscar: She…can talk brilliantly upon any subject provided she knows nothing about.

Maria: I never forget it. No. I forgive sometimes but I never forget.

Charles: Whether you come from heaven or hell, what does it matter, O Beauty! There are women who inspire you with the desire to conquer them and to take your pleasure of them; but this one fills you only with the desire to die slowly beneath her gaze.

Maria [sighing to herself]: Luckily I’m temperamental, otherwise…Imagine.

Ziggy: Well, all the people have got their problems. That ain’t nothing new, but with the help of the good Lord, we can all pull on through.

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Freddie: The festival here, it’s me. I don’t look too bad for 37.

Charles: It would be difficult for me not to conclude that the most perfect type of masculine beauty is Satan, as portrayed by Milton.

Andy: Painting is an excuse to listen to good music.

Freddie: All songs I’ve written, come on!

Oscar [desperately seeking for Maria’s gaze]: I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

Maria: If they happen, I don’t cry [about] tragedies, I cope with them. Maybe also I put men on a pedestal.

Ziggy: I’m pretty self-satisfied with my own individuality… making love with [my] ego.

Charles: You are sitting and smoking; you believe that you are sitting in your pipe, and that your pipe is smoking you; you are exhaling yourself in bluish clouds. You feel just fine in this position, and only one thing gives you worry or concern: how will you ever be able to get out of your pipe?

Maria: We, people of the theatre can’t think about what’s now gone, because we don’t have the time. We need to look forward. “Même sur scène, ce qui est passé est passé.“

Ziggy: Exactly. You don’t have to be the same personality every time you go on stage.

Charles: This life is a hospital in which every patient is possessed with a desire to change his bed. Note to myself: “Always be a poet, even in prose.”

Oscar: To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions, a quotation.

Ziggy: My brain hurt[s] like a warehouse […] To store everything in there. All I have is my love of love [a]nd love is not loving.

Freddie: Does that make sense honey?

Ziggy: Love is careless in its choosing, [s]weeping over cross and baby, [l]ove descends on those defenceless. Idiot love will spark the fusion.

Freddie: I love my job and I hate talking to people like you.

Maria: Oh, dear! […] If at times I’ve made enemies, then I never intended to. But we serve this marvellous thing, this unique thing, which is music.

Freddie: We talk about more than music, […], but there’s more to us than writing songs, we do other things, you know, we are characters. The [6] of us we’re real…– oh God, I can’t say this 4-letters word – we’re very strong individually so…

Ziggy: Satisfaction, satisfaction, keep me satisfied. This mellow thighed chick just put my spine out of place.

Maria: Shall we say we did not agree too much?

Charles: The world only goes round by misunderstanding. It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by all luck, people understood each other, they would never agree.

Oscar: Everything popular is wrong. Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

Maria: That’s how you create something beautiful[?] And I thought, “Really great men are totally unaffected“.

Ziggy: Think about all the strange things circulating round, Darling. It ain’t easy, it ain’t easy. News had just come over. We had five years left to cry in. News guy wept and told us Earth was really dying.

Oscar: The optimist sees the donut, the pessimist sees the hole.

Maria [loosing hope for any enriching outcome to the conversation going on]: Well, maybe the other people make drama.

A stranger interrupting them all: Oh, hello old sport. It’s stopped raining. What do you think of that? It’s stopped raining.

Ziggy: Your face, your race, the way that you talk, I kiss you, you’re beautiful, I want you to walk.

The stranger: I’m going to make a big request of you today […] so I thought you ought to know something about me. I didn’t want you to think I was just some nobody. You see, I usually find myself among strangers because I drift here and there trying to forget the sad things that happened to me.

Charles: I can barely conceive of a type of beauty in which there is no Melancholy.

Andy: I try to think of what time is and all I can think is…“Time is time was.“ Most of the time is just get up in the morning.

Maria [leaving]: The centre of my life is to be peaceful with [my]self and to be able to not be[ing] bored, which is already a lot.

The stranger: Perhaps you know that lady? She looks like she could be on the cover of Vogue.

Andy [proudly]: I give a cover away every minute, you know.

Charles [sighing]: My heart is lost; the beasts have eaten it. I prefer the monsters of my fancy to what is positively trivial.

Oscar [getting back at the stranger]: I don’t see why a man should think he is pleasing a woman enormously when he says to her a whole heap of things that he doesn’t mean. A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.

The stranger: I’m Gatsby. I thought you knew, old sport.

Freddie: But here you are, after 13 years, [7] old ladies are still rocking away!


In order of appearance. Slightly altered direct quotes from Charles Baudelaire, Freddie Mercury, Ziggy Stardust, Maria Callas, Oscar Wilde, Andy Warhol and The Great Gatsby.


Words and Artworks by Cindy Fournier

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